Step 1:
Knit something out of feltable wool, preferably something resembling a big spermatoza (that's the singular of sperm, no?) Amuse yourself with it by shooting pics of it in various settings. See if it would make a suitable hat.

Step 2:
Gather the necessary necessities including; a plastic bowl or other container with lid that actually stays on (important, that tight lid thing), your Kiddo's Bouncy Balls collection, a big microwavable container (Pyrex measuring cup works rather well), dish soap, salt and the wooly item to torture.


Step 3:
Fill nukable container with water and nuke it for oh 4-5 minutes, you want the water to be almost boiling, time varies depending on amount of water being heated (I know you know this already). While water is heating place knit object in the bottom of the plastic bowl.


Step 4:
Add a bit of dishsoap to the item to be felted. Don't forget a pinch of salt.


Step 5:
Think about the possibility of the hot water causing your Kiddo's Bouncy Balls to melt together. Sort thru the Bouncy Balls, choose which will be sacrificed.


Step 6:
Stop to admire the Bouncy Ball with a lizard and giant glitter flecks in it. Wonder to yourself what kind of lizard it is supposed to be. Set lizard aside just in case you do end up melting balls and whatnot.


Step 7:
Add the very hot water to the bowl with the wooly item and balls. Place lid on bowl making sure it is on correctly. Shake the bowl (keep a hand on the lid) while dancing around the kitchen in an imaginary conga line. Don't let yourself be talked into a limbo contest this time. Note that the balls did not fuse together then wonder how hot the water would actually have to be to achieve Bouncy Ball Fusion.


Step 8:
Put bowl back on counter. Wipe off all the soap bubbles that have run down your arms because the lid was not very tight on the bowl. Flex your new found muscles for a moment, ponder creating a workout vid based on felting.


Step 9:
Peer into side of bowl, wonder if the bubbles are under pressure and will explode and envelope you in a sea of bubbles when you open the bowl. Be amused until you realize you are the one who would have to actually clean it up.


Step 10:
Open the bowl. Cackle with glee as you spy a what appears to be felted object amongst the not fused together Bouncy Balls.


Step 11:
Fish out felted thing and admire for a moment. Make a mental note to buy a Bigger Badder plastic bowl with a lit that fits well for future felting experiments.


Step 12:
Rinse felted thing in cold water until you don't see anymore soap bubbles. Do any fine tuning of felting at this time.


Step 13:
Poke and prod object into shape, for Maude's sake, fix that crooked handle, can't have that.


Step 14:
Once blocked, set aside felted thingy to dry. Be sure to put Kiddos Bouncy Balls back in her room before she realizes what you have done. Now, enjoy a tasty beverage why don't ya.