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February 24, 2006
1000th customer
1000th comment since the June Zibibboisgood migration from Blogger to MT (didn't migrate the comments from Haloscan so the count started at 0 again) anyhu, start stalking your postman in 10-14 days (:
Local fashion.
I've been kvetching for the past year and a half about the return of the 80s. It started with those pointyassbuckleladens shoes. Even more skeevish than the shoes and the poofy sleeve caps: the hair and the OMFG-D her butt is HUGE skin tight tapered jeans. They're peggin'em again.
Nothing better accentuates those child bearin' hips, big butt and gut better than a pair of pegged skin tight jeans kids! And they're low cut to boot. What I am thankful for: the flares haven't gone way of the local chickens. It seems that "my generation" has learned from their own 80s fashion fuckups and have not returned to the bowling ball on toothpicks (yet). This is one trend I will most happily sit out. Call me an old fogey, I'm not doin' that again my butt is big enough with out accentuating the fact.
I won't mention the fluffy girls wearing the low rise skin tights with a skin tight t-shirt up top and the whole jiggling factor. Heaven help those who may be in firing range when a button pops. Kapowie.
Hair. Mullets baby! I have it on good word that mullets make the baby Jesus cry. Now go say a few Hair Marys and get a hair cut. What puzzles me is the rudder. This morning while dropping kiddo off at school one of the young mothers was clad in the skin tight pegged - granted they don't make you look like a hippo if you are a size 0 to begin with, but they do make it so you don't have do disrobe for a pelvic exam - hey lady! I don't want to see your vulva before my morning java! So dropping kiddo off. I didn't notice the hair until I was leaving, I was distracted by the acid washed embroidered rhinestones and poofy painted black denim jacket she was wearing. I glance up to see if raccoon eyes accompanied the works and was puzzled to see this rutter like thing on the top of her head. In line with the ears, it's like the back hairs of the short section of the mullet were curled (remember curling irons?) one curl and a load of chemicals and there you go. She was just walking around like that.
Wow, I thought to myself. Just, wow. Tell Kiddo to have a nice day and don't make her teachers crazy and I'm off for the java fix. I glance over and there is a girl with hair quite similar to above, but instead of a perfect curl, those short mullet hairs were uhm, well it looked like she stuck her hand in a jar of gel and sorta pulled them all up into a pokey mess on an otherwise smooth mullet. Is this the mohawk of the 00s? Curling iron woman's hair at least looked as though the curl thing offered some sort of aerodynamics - the pokey puff was and remains quite puzzling. Was there a mullet customization article in one of the fashion mags of late? Perhaps.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go bleach me brain.
Posted February 24, 2006 06:15 AM
Comments
I had to stop reading at acid washed embroidered rhinestones and poofy painted black denim jacket....I hope that's made up. Really I do. I can't imagine anyone wearing a monstrosity like that nowadays. Please tell me it's made up. Please?
Posted by: Karen at February 24, 2006 04:13 PM
Mullets? OUCH!!!
Posted by: Gina at February 24, 2006 05:34 PM
If that's the trend there, I've got about two years to prepare for it here, where they've either got Farrah hair or a helmet head and where never a white sandal is seen before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. (We feel so sorry for you all in other countries, not knowing when to break out the white shoes and matching bag...)
Posted by: sisiggy at February 24, 2006 07:32 PM
OMG! I live in Florida where the really "cool" kids are still dressed up like goths. If the 80's come back I'll have to pull out my teasing comb and get a perm. And I'm NOT wearing the tights with the long sweater. It makes me look like a potato! You are hilarious!
Posted by: Wendy DG at February 24, 2006 11:22 PM
Woot! Woot! I'm doin' me a happy dance! My big mouth and always having something to say actually HELPED me for once! Woot! Zib, I am soooo excited. Why, I might just have to go and get me a bi-level haircut. Well, maybe I'll just have to scan in any old pictures of me with a bi-level so you can see what a dork I was in the '80s.
Those low-rise, poured on jeans are insane. They have to be so tight in order to stay up that they make even the size 0's look like they have "overhang". Personally, I think they're a plot by tattoo artists since it's pretty much required if you're going to wear them that you have one of those lower-back tattoos above your butt floss for everyone to see.
Posted by: Erica at February 24, 2006 11:26 PM
OH GOURDS! I forgot all about the sweater and leggings!
I shall be on the look out.
Erica, if you show up here with a mullet don't take it
personally if I gawk at you and giggle, a lot.
Posted by: zib at February 24, 2006 11:34 PM
Mullets? Never died around here. They're generally called hockey hair, though. Why? Hockey players, for some reason unknown to the sane, love to rock the mullet. Exhibit A - http://www.edmontonoilers.com/roster/smyth_ryan/
As for pegged jeans? I follow the fashion dictum "Don't wear trends if you wore them the last time around."
Posted by: Sarah at February 24, 2006 11:58 PM
Hair. Mullets baby! I have it on good word that mullets make the baby Jesus cry.
You.are.killing.me! Gawd I wish I knew you IRL :)
Strange enough I live in the south and I don't see mullets on anyone here anymore, well at least not in the city.
Shit, the leggings and long sweater. Guilty as charged on that crime. Luckily I have a GREAT friend who made me take a long hard look at myself. I puked. Then threw all leggings away.
Posted by: Ali at February 25, 2006 12:48 AM
EEEEK!!
That drawing you made reminds me of the cholas in high school with their copetes! (please pardon my ignorance of how to spell those Texas bordertown slang terms. Just say them like Carlos Mencia followed by "horale wey!" and you've got the right idea.)
*shudders* Now I remember why my wardrobe in high school consisted of jeans, plain black tshirts, and a jacket.
Posted by: Ana at February 25, 2006 01:09 AM
No mullets here, not to worry. If I did get one...well...how to put it?...Let's just say I'd have to put the flannel sheets on the bed b/c it would be pretty darn cold in that there bed.
Posted by: Erica at February 25, 2006 04:24 AM
The rednecks around here never let the mullet die. *sigh*
Posted by: Donna at February 25, 2006 03:16 PM
My rule is this: If I am old enough to remember it the first time around, then I am too old to wear the latest incarnation....mullets, ugh.
Posted by: Andree at February 26, 2006 02:09 AM
I'm going to need photos...this can't be hapenning! Ack!
Posted by: Tesoro at February 27, 2006 11:47 PM
ick. Eighties fashion. Those were dark days. Now I've come to my senses and am too old to even try! Happy mercy.
Posted by: Kim at March 2, 2006 11:40 PM
Wendy,
I JUST LOVE YOU! We are so much alike already.
I was raised by 2 very strong, Fluffy, Southern Black women. Having always been a "fluffy" girl, I KNEW at a young age what I COULD and COULD NOT get away with as far as fashion. It would be over my own deadbody that I even attempt to put a leg into one of those low rider jeans. Hell, my nanny still advocates wearing a girdle to hold it all in and put it in the right places. LOL! Personally, no one over a US size 6 should wear those jeans...if you can pinch an inch your butt is too big for those low riders with the half t-shirts. I don't even know WHY they make 'em larger than a US size 6 really. I saw a lady at work in a big sweater and stirrup pants and I had a fashion heartattack. LET IT GO! If you got it in another decade, cut it up and make a quilt out of it. GEEZ!
Posted by: Carmen at March 18, 2006 01:19 AM
